Hi all!
Sure sure, there is Romney, Gingrich and Santorum (I always mess up the spelling of Santorum's name, but I'm too scared to Google it anymore).
On the other side, there is Obama.
No one seems pleased by the choices. If you just cant stand the thought of any of them them, well there are alternatives. However while some require divine (or at least galactic) intervention, there is at least one choice we can make for ourselves. Allow me to present that option.
It is a machine. It is almost 17 miles in circumference (which is a dead give away to anyone who watches the Science Channel). Yes, I am speaking of the Large Hadron Collider ( or LHC), the world's largest and highest-energy particle accelerator. It is designed to collide opposing particle beams of protons at up to 7 teraelectronvolts (7 TeV or 1.12 microjoules).
What does that mean?
Well, at full power, trillions of protons will race around the LHC accelerator ring 11,245 times a second, at close to (though never at) the speed of light. When two beams of protons collide (600 million times a second), they will generate temperatures more than 100,000 times hotter than the heart of the sun. Yes, the sun, that big yellow ball up there that makes you squint. It should be noted that this is only in a tiny area, super-cooled at minus 271.3 degrees Celsius (minus 456.34 degrees Fahrenheit). All this to see if we can finally find the Higgs Boson, the most elementary particle theorized by whats known as the Standard Model, thereby proving it and its framework. Hint: it gives mass to other particles, so its said.
To the Brainiacs out there; I realize I have unforgivably simplified and butchered the theory but please keep it to your eggheaded selves, this is a political blog.
Now whats fascinating is that we are, for all practical purposes, trying to simulate the conditions of the Big Bang on a smaller scale. No one, absolutely no one, has any idea at all what is going to happen. It could work exactly as hoped, The Higgs Boson would wave briefly, then shyly disappear again. However there is a chance that this damned thing tuned to full power could find the Higgs Boson, which coming back into temporal existence could then destroy the universe in another big bang, or ravage the earth (utterly), or form a black hole of indeterminate size. Leaving aside the subject of micro black holes that exist for nano-seconds, there is a non-trivial chance of a full black hole coming into existence for nano seconds, which likewise leads to a non-zero chance of a significant event horizon creation. The earth, or a sizable piece of it, would burn in stunning fashion if even the least of these occurred.
Shut up Brainiacs. I know, I know.
Now, how could we do something like this without knowing what could happen? Simple: Mankind is comprised almost wholly of intelligent people who become extraordinarily stupid when placed in groups. There is no other possible explanation. In the universal scheme we are nothing but a gathering of apes, curiously but obliviously banging rocks against a cosmic ICBM. Think "2001", but with nukes.
So why aren't we dead yet? Well, it could be that none of those things would happen. Others have suggested the Higgs Boson itself is deliberately sabotaging our efforts (get this) through time. But we are also breathing because the LHC has been powered down (mostly) to allow for upgrades before it revs up to full power in 2014 rather than the previously planned 2012.
You can almost hear the Mayans exhale cautiously, can't you?
It seems someone, somewhere, got nervous by the appalling lack of control in our elementary particle death-machine and decided that maybe a safety measure or two should be in scope when dealing with something 100,000 times hotter than our sun. Go figure.
But what an opportunity this gives us! Why take a chance on Romney, Obama or the election in general? Don't wait for a meteor that may never show! Wouldn't you rather just throw the switch before the upgrades in 2014? It is time America, for the ultimate fireworks show in the universe! Lets challenge SMOD for the chance to destroy the election!
Let's back, the Large Hadron Collider in 2012!