I'm on vacation, so I have to keep this short. It is a brand new year. Hopes, dreams, new optimistic visions for the future... anything is possible.
So here are the Top 10 Things I hope for in 2012!
10) The Republican establishment does not stick us with another loser.
9) Megyn Kelly goes back to longer hair and shorter skirts. Fox News ratings soar!
8) The makers of auto-tune have a meeting with the makers of the Disney music stars and disappear in a massive black hole of suck.
7) Website owners realize no one ever wants to use a crappy "mobile version" of their website, outside of the few sad remaining Blackberry users.
6) Sean Penn, Susan Sarandon and Michael Moore die in a tragic organic wine and peanut-butter fueled 3-way while collaborating on yet another anti-American script.
5) Newspapers & networks realize that creating a crappy iPad App is not going to keep them relevant, and actually start to report real news.
4) MSNBC's Chris "Tingles" Matthews joins Oprah, Olberman and yes, Glen Beck, in ego driven "I want to own my own network" exile.
3) Science discovers that the Earth's climate is affected by mellow vibes and immediately issue corrective orders to "just chill". Banana daiquiris, beach hammocks and romantic trysts by the seashore for everyone! Do it for the Earth!
2) The original members of Kiss make another record. Ace Frehley: accept no substitute!
And the number one hope for 2012...
1) Nobama!
And if none of those are possible, perhaps I can at least get to the end of my diet before I lose my mind and mug the Pepinos Pizza delivery guy?
That might be hoping for too much.
Skyrim DLC?
See you next week!
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