Well, it has been an interesting year and it is right around this time of year that we all start looking back. We review what was, what happened, what might have been, and prepare ourselves for what will be, what might happen, and what could be.
Sounds like fun. Let’s get started early, shall we?
So, how are things in Europe? Instability in Greece, failures in multiple meetings, austerity that isn’t, bullishness of the Brits, what will they think of next?
How about the collapse of the Euro? Naw, done that.
The Euro, the consolidated European currency that took the place of the Lira, the Drachma, and the Franc, has hit its lowest level in the past 11 months. How low can it go? It’s a Euro Limbo.
The Brits at this point look like geniuses, having held on to the Pound. It is likely that Greece will depart the pattern first, and unlikely that the Euro Zone will exist much longer after that. Banks are already getting ready for the fallout.
Speaking of fallout, how’s that shelter coming? It seems the blind can now see. The UN has, amazingly, after years of study and deliberation, come to the same conclusion that the “idiot” Bush came to back in 2004 or so.
Iran’s gots nukes.
The same crazy bunch that brought you suicide bombers and the 444 days of American hostages is on the verge of having control over the single most destructive weapon known to man. They’re building missiles that can carry massive payload, and they’re pointing them right at Israel. That should warm the corners of your heart. It sends me to bed with nightmares of Sharia law and Muslim occupation.
Speaking of “occupation”, can you spare college tuition to an Ivy League college?
Let us bow our heads for a moment of silence in respect for the passing of Anthropogenic Global Warming, otherwise known as:
THE GREATEST HOAX PERPETRATED ON THE WORLD IN THE PAST CENTURY!
Or Global Warming.
Or Global Climate Change.
In the very near future the standard lightbulb will become illegal. In its place we have mercury-laced CFLs that give off less light, pollute the water supply, and give off fumes that can be detrimental to your health. All in the name of a hoax. That’s right, the greenies have been working to send us back to the stone age, and they’ve used bogus “science”, fake data, strong arms tactics, and media bullshit to get their way. All that is coming to a close as the hoax seems to be near dead. Its last breath has been breathed in Durban.
Think I’m joking? Take a look at the rest of the Global Warming emails. They were leaked just a few weeks ago.
And we’ve had an awful lot of leaks in the past thanks in part to that crazy Ausie, Julian Assange. He’s the editor-in-chief of WikiLeaks, that zany, wacky site all you kids love to go to when you want to see secret government documents. Unfortunately, other people’s secrets are apparently not the only thing Julian likes to share. It seems he has a somewhat active sex drive, and he is more than willing to push his desires on young women, whether they are willing or not. Or at least that’s the accusation.
In fact, we’ve had quite the collection of accusations around sexual impropriety over the past year.
Coaches.
Candidates.
Politicians.
Potentates.
It seems that anyone with any level of power or fame can’t keep their hands off, well, you know. There’s no question that many of these accusations are questionable in nature. Some may even be as baseless as the whole Global Warming hoax. Others are, sadly, likely, true. All have, or will, result in the downfall of the accused in some way, shape, or form.
Yes, 2011 has been quite the year. And next year promises to be even more exciting, what with elections and all that. If all goes well, there will be some changes that will definitely send this nation down a different path. By spending a little time looking at the past year, we may learn a thing or two that will help us in the future. Like persistent 9% unemployment. Or skyrocketing health care costs. Or the Chevy Volt. Yes, it’s time we learned from the mistakes of the past, and move into 2012 with a new direction.
Bring on the election.
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