Brushfire of Freedom
The Irritable Pundit
OK. The game has changed. Completely and utterly, and possibly irrevocably, changed. Let me tell you the story. You like stories don't you? This story is called, "The Princess and the Pea-Brains"
Once upon a time there was a man named Newt. He was a conservative icon, though one somewhat tarnished by playing footsie with Pelosi and company in a poorly thought-out political appearance. You remember it don't you? It was a saccharine-sweet "all getting along" ad on the usual green nonsense. But the base could forgive -- barely. After all, Newt was the architect of the "Contract With America" and everyone stumbles from time to time. However, a full and total face-plant, delivered while shooting your mouth off? Not so much. It was the sort of moment that haunts the hapless. The Numa Numa boy, the Star Wars kid, and the Knock-Out Ninja can all attest to the longevity of the modern era's memory when it comes to foolishly showing your shortcomings. Years later we still snicker or cringe, and in no way will the poor folks involved ever be seen as anything but jokes. Newt now joins this fine group of internet meme anti-heros for his stunning lecture on politics while making a political miscalculation of herculean proportion.
Once upon a time there was a man named Romney. Romney was often dogged by charges of "wishy-washy" politics, but he had a personal war chest of impressive size and liquidity. He also had a large crew of "volunteers" who (I'm sure completely on their own) savaged friend and foe alike for Romney's gain. Sure, he ran his state as a squishy rino, but he had great hair and an incredible team, and did I mention the money? Yeah he had lots of that. So much in fact that he really didn't even need the constant pimping from Hugh Hewett to keep getting his name out there. Of course Hugh pimped Mitt Romney day and night anyway, putting Romney on his radio sidewalk before, during and after the election with gusto. I have been considering sending Hewitt a velvet hat and cane, but I imagine Romney already bought him all he needed, so why bother? Bottom line: Mitt was still a force to be reckoned with, and looked to 2012 with avarice. Then suddenly Mitt Romney stood before the game changing moment and summoned all the stupendous powers of his oratory! Then Mitt mumbled something unintelligible and passed on the moment. Realizing he had made a mistake, he went back to the mike and firmly hemmed. Looking around, he realized it hadn't worked so he took a deep breath and hawed. And finally, after receiving adulation from Hewitt and no other, Mitt Romney did the only thing he could -- he cleared his throat and said something not quite but almost completely and nearly understandable that could possibly be the right thing to say -- maybe. Yes children, Romney will forever be remembered as "the guy who almost" and "the guy who nearly".
Once upon a time there was a man named Pawl.. Palent.. Pawlenty? Hmmm... hard to really say. I just vaguely remember this moderate guy who wanted to be seen as conservative, walking around shouting, "I exist! No really! I do!" Then he jumped on some bandwagon a step too late and... well, to be honest I'm not sure what happened to him. The last I heard he had a press conference, but no one really noticed. I hope he's ok, whoever and wherever he is.
Once there was a man named Huck. Folksy type, a bit priggish but all in all pretty ok so long as you don't get on his bad side. You know the type, he complains about his neighbors lawn, and how the Spiegelman kid keeps walking across his yard, blah blah. He enforces the rules in the Home Owners Association with just a bit too much intensity. Prays very loudly in church. But Huck is ok in small doses. Just give me a shot of whiskey if I have to be in the same room for more than a half hour if you know what I mean. The thing about Huck is, he knows all this. I mean he knows he comes off wrong some times, but he means well! So to keep from getting on peoples nerves, he sometimes sits quietly and doesn't speak up until issues are already decided. Just kind of chiming in and agreeing with the consensus after-the-fact. Sadly for Huck, this was exactly the kind of situation where, gosh darn it! You just can't do that sorta thing! And POOF! Hucks out O' luck!
Once there was a woman named Palin. Sarah Baracuda they called her sometimes. Sarah's timing was often questioned, and certainly her organizational skills, but her political instincts were as sharp as the knife she used to skin wolves. Sarah recognized the moment when it came, and stood up to meet it. In doing so, she risked herself in ways the other names-of-the-week didn't. Sarah, and Sarah alone, was the one to seize that moment and make it her own, and so Sarah Palin became the only one of our supposed leaders not diminished.
One Princess, a lot of pea-brains.
The details do not matter, the after-effects matter a great deal. In fact the aftershocks of what happened still reverberate through the political landscape and will for quite some time. "NY-23" will be remembered long after Hoffman's name is forgotten (no disrespect to him) as the moment when the base rose up with a loud voice and said "Enough!" The base could no longer be ignored by feckless talking-heads and party apparatchiks interested only in their own self-aggrandizement.
Oh yeah... and win, lose or draw, the base lived happily ever after. The end.
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