Brushfire of Freedom
Ram Rants
My friends, I come to you at the gravest of times in this great nation’s history. There is a terrible disease that has already spread to nearly half of the adults in America, and it is only going to get worse. We need to take steps now to prevent the collapse of our country, and possibly our world. I am speaking of course of “Chronic Crisis Disorder” or CCD for short.
CCD strikes without notice, and immediately begins destroying an individuals ability to reason or carry on polite discourse. They become panicked, oft times hallucinating. Someone under the influence of CCD has difficulty understanding facts, they tend to exaggerate statistics, or completely fabricate numbers. CCD is a cruel, debilitating disorder that seems to stem from Liberal ideas. Currently, the only known cure for CCD is a strong dose of Conservatism, a remedy we here at the Brushfire team are more than willing to administer.
A closer look at the symptoms of CCD may provide insight into some of the root causes.
First, a person under the influence of CCD has an overblown sense of urgency. Everything must be done immediately to avert some horrid event. Recent examples include the described “need” for Congress to pass health care reform before the August recess. This is an indication that someone in leadership, perhaps Ms. Pelosi, has contracted CCD. If you check the hospitals around the nation, you will find that they are doing business very nicely. There are no bodies piled in the streets, people are not wandering about with gaping wounds, and no real epidemic has struck the nation, killing millions. In fact, the US health care system is the best in the world. Just check infant mortality and life expectancy, you will see the impact of American health care. Yet there is a “crisis” in health care, and it must be resolved immediately, at least according to those stricken with CCD.
CCD is by definition “chronic” which means, “...persisting for a long time or constantly recurring”. This means if you have CCD, you will constantly see crises. If you have been watching the news lately, we’ve had a housing crisis, a mortgage crisis, a banking crisis, a crisis in the automotive industry, an economic crisis, an immigration crisis, a climate crisis, and a health care crisis, just to name a few. This is a symptom of the CCD sufferer’s exaggerated view of every world event. A temperature rises a few degrees above average in a specific region of the world and we have a climate crisis that must be solved in the next four months or the world will end. That is the perspective of a CCD sufferer. Those with CCD disregard the fact that this year has seen record low temperatures across the globe. They continue to demand immediate action to save the planet from its eventual demise. But the CCD victim is not relieved once the crisis is averted. They simply move on to the next crisis, such as health care, or gun control, or even a toilet paper crisis (well, that was Cuba).
If you have been watching the news lately, you will have seen many examples of CCD casualties. The continued refusal of some to accept reality is another tell-tale sign of this crippling malady. Our President has refused to accept the fact that American’s don’t want his “solution” for the “health care crisis”. Instead, he and his fellow sufferers insult, deride, and defame the character of those who would question them or their precious crisis. Friends, they simply can not see that their “crisis” is an hallucination brought on by this horrible disease. An inability to accept reality, and a desire to inject a crisis at each opportunity are all part of CCD. Please, do not judge them too harshly, for they really do not understand that they have CCD.
A casual observer may not notice these signs, but CCD is highly contagious, and those who come in contact with the afflicted often find themselves showing initial signs. There are some in the Republican party that are beginning to demonstrate an initial onset of CCD, claiming we need to do SOMETHING to resolve the health care crisis. Be certain to watch your own actions or you may fall into the trap of CCD.
As for the cure, well, Conservatism is the only known antidote for CCD. Fortunately it is both cure and vaccine, so if you have Conservatism, you are protected from contracting this dreaded disease. There is a vast supply of Conservatism in America, and that is good news for us and for those who currently suffer from CCD. We have begun bringing our cure to town halls around the country, and we are beginning to see results. I hope, as I know you do, that one day we can eradicate CCD from the face of the earth, and save our country from the impact of knee-jerk reactions, bad guesses, and poorly conceived, liberal policies. Only time will tell if we have begun our effort soon enough. There is a crisis in our country, and it’s name is CCD. Come visit the Brushfire weekly, and you will be healed.
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